Short Short Series #1

Larry

by Brent Warren III

He woke up depressed.  He needed to get out of bed, but he had no desire.  He hit the snooze button and stared at the ceiling until the alarm rang again.  “Alright, damn it!” he said, hitting the clock.

He pulled himself up, and swung his legs out of the bed.  Slouching over his beer belly, he dragged his hands through his thinning white hair and then sighed.  He stood and walked to his bathroom.  After taking his daily shit, he stood before the mirror.

           His jowls, he noticed, had started to sag more.  The bags under his eyes had grown noticeably darker and pronounced as he slept less and less each year.  “This fucking blows,” he said to himself.  He scratched his ass and then went back to his bedroom.

           He grabbed a clean white polo from his chest drawer and then put on the pants he’d worn the last three days.  He cinched the belt tight and buckled it, letting the excess end flop loose because the leather loop and fallen off long ago.  He didn’t care.  And then, just because he liked them, he put on his red suspenders.  He’d been told by his coworker, a young girl who spent most of her time perusing fashion magazines, that he shouldn’t wear the suspenders because they accentuated his beer belly. “It’s unattractive,” she said.

           “Fuck you,” he replied.

           Dressed, he ate his dry toast and drank his reheated coffee from the day before.  He read a tattered copy of Bukowski, one of many he’d borrowed from the bookstore.  That was the only real perk of working there as far as he was concerned.

           He finished his breakfast, cleaned the dishes, and then left for work.

Sitting in his old 98’ Oldsmobile in the bookstore parking lot, he stared at the front door, watching his young coworker dance to the tune from her little, white earbuds.  He sighed.

           What’s the point, he thought.  A seventy-year-old man still working as a clerk in a bookstore.  What a fucking joke, he thought.

           He started the car, hesitated, and said, “Fuck it!”

           He pulled out of the parking lot, turned left, and drove to the nearest bar.

To Grill or Not to Grill

For most, meats and grills go hand in hand.  There is no other way to cook a tender filet mignon, a thick pork chop, or a juicy t-bone, right?  Not entirely.  While there are many reasons to grill meats (the smokey flavor and the aesthetics of the criss-cross pattern come to mind), it is not the only choice.  

    Like most male Americans, my introduction to cooking consisted of a steak and a grill.  And for years, including my college days spent working as a line cook under trained chefs in restaurants, that was the only way I thought proper to cook a steak. Then one day, long after I’d left the restaurant business, I received as a gift James Peterson’s Essentials of Cooking and my perception of cooking meats--as well as cooking in general--changed forever.

Peterson’s book, as the title implies, teaches cooking techniques that all trained chefs know, but that many home cooks may not.  From it I learned such techniques as how to make a bouquet garni, how to truss a bird, how to make chicken stock, and how to make mayonnaise--simple techniques that ironically I never learned while working as a line cook.  The technique that I have employed countless times since I learned to do it properly is sautéing meat, my preferred method these days for cooking steaks or pork tenderloin medallions.

So what makes me a convert?  There are several factors: sautéing is not dependent on the weather; it provides an even temperature across the surface of the meat; it quickly sears the meat, thereby trapping the juices in the meat rather than letting them fall into the grill; and, finally, the remaining drippings in the pan serve as a base for a variety of quick and easy sauces.

The process is simple. Start by sprinkling the steaks or pork tenderloin (cut into one and half inch medallions) with kosher salt and pepper and let them warm up to room temperature.  Heat a tablespoon or two of olive oil in a heavy bottomed, stainless steel sauté pan over moderately high heat until the oil begins to shimmer.  Add the meat and brown on both sides--don’t flip it repeatedly; let it cook a few minutes on one side, and then flip and cook until done.  Once it is cooked to your liking, remove and keep warm--I usually put the meat on a plate and cover it loosely with foil.  Now here is the fun part: the sauce.  I tend to favor a wine sauce (red for meats and white for chicken).  If there is an excess of fat in the pan, pour that out.  Then, if desired, add diced onions, garlic, or mushrooms for added flavor and sauté them until they’re soft.  Next, deglaze the pan with a ¼ to ½ cup of wine--make sure the wine or whatever liquid you use is at least room temperature or warmer, otherwise you risk warping your pan--and scrape up all the drippings stuck to the pan.  Let the wine simmer down till only a little remains and then add ¾ to 1 cup of chicken or beef broth and simmer until it becomes syrupy.  Finally, add a little cold butter to thicken the sauce, season to taste, and pour over the meat.

            So the next time the weather is bad, you run out of gas or charcoal, or you just feel like trying something besides grilling, sauté.

Session Poetry

Watching the fly on the toilet bowl
drinking like a disciple of Bacchus,
I suddenly understood 
the subtleties of life.

  --Brent Warren III

John Adams by David McCullough

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


Occasionally, I like to take a break from fiction and read about real people, often historic figures who contributed to significant events in history, especially those involving the U.S.--in other words, the Founding Fathers.  However, I sometimes find such biographies dull and have, at least in one case, quit reading half way through the book.  Such is not the case with David McCullough's John Adams.

McCullough masterfully brings to life a man who was highly intelligent and independent, at times vain and temperamental, always loving and loyal to friends and family, and dedicated to the founding of the United States of America. Of course, McCullough covers all the major political events of Adams's life, but he also makes Adams human, depicting his close relationship to his wife, Abigail, and his children as well as his long and sometimes tumultuous friendship with Thomas Jefferson.

Overall, McCullough has written a biography that reads like a novel. Engaging and informative, John Adams is worth reading if you have an interest in understanding one of the greatest men in the history of the United States.



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The Yiddish Policemen's Union by Michael Chabon

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


I don't typically go for the plot driven who-done-it novels, preferring character driven stories instead.  That said, I really enjoyed Michael Chabon's The Yiddish Policemen's Union , a clever, gritty detective story with substance.  Meyer Landsman, an archetypal down-in-the-dumps detective, in the course of a homicide investigation, uncovers a much larger conspiracy.  More importantly, he uncovers his purpose and his place in the world. This novel is well worth the time for anyone who likes a good mystery combined with memorable characters. 



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When the Light Goes by Larry McMurtry

My rating: 3 of 5 stars


When the Light Goes, by Larry McMurtry, appears to be the last in a series of novels (The Last Picture Show, Texasville, and Duane's Depressed) that follows the often hilarious and sometimes heartbreaking life of Duane Moore, a West Texas oilman. In this latest novel, we find Duane returning to his hometown, Thalia, from a trip to Egypt.  Once home, Duane finds that in the short time that he was gone, much has changed.  As the novel continues, Duane grapples with the fact that most of his family and friends have either died or moved elsewhere, leaving him in a town that doesn't feel much like home anymore.  To add to his dilemma, Duane also discovers that he has a serious health issue.  However, Duane meets a young woman, Anne Cameron, who rekindles his dwindling sexual desires and his interest in life, ultimately helping him decide where he belongs. 

Though not as developed as, and more erotic than, the other novels in this series, When the Light Goes is classic McMurtry, complete with quirky characters, humor, and real emotion. Assuming this is the last in the series, it is a fitting conclusion to the life of Duane Moore.   



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The Hotel New Hampshire by John Irving

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


Wow! Every family has an oddball or two that are often avoided and only seen at the occasional family reunion, but the Berry family is nothing but oddballs, which makes for a hilarious yet tragic story. John Irving's The Hotel New Hampshire tells the story of the five Berry children as they follow their father, an irrepressible dreamer, through one failed hotel adventure after another. Along the way, they have to deal with rape, incest, and death as well as terrorists, prostitutes, a few bears, and a dog named Sorrow.

Using tight, direct, and often poetic prose, Irving tells the story through the point of view of John Berry, the middle son. John admits that he is the "least opinionated" of his siblings and so it is up to him to "set the record straight, or nearly straight" about his family's story, but he then admits that his view of the story, at least the parts he was present for, are "colored by the fact that they were up-and-down times, about which [he has] up-and-down opinions." Though John's point of view may be questionable at times, it has a nostalgic quality that is endearing, evoking sympathy from readers as he tells about and deals with his family's tragedies.

In addition to dealing with serious subjects honestly, Irving inserts a bit of metafiction via Lilly Berry (John's younger sister) as John recalls Lilly's struggles with her perceived inadequacies as a writer and the effects of critical reviews.  Irving also manages to poke fun at literature professors and "a certain illiterate kind of college student" who are "relieved to discover that absolute obscurity [is] not only publishable but seemingly identified with seriousness," and that the "obvious failure to be clear [in writing] confirms that what any fool knows is a vice can be rearranged, by art, to resemble a virtue."

Altogether, The Hotel New Hampshire is a beautifully written novel filled with unforgettable characters and ridiculous situations that will make readers laugh and cry--or at least chuckle and then choke up--within the span of a page. 





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